Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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