I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
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Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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