If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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