you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize