I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize