erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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