when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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