I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize