Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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