I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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