Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
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We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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