Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Randomize