You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize