Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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