so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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