kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize