matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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