She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
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when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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