): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
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She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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