Need sex. Gaining weight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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