So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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