wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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