we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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