YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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