So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize