The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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