So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize