i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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