She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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