my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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