no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
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HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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