Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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