Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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