Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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