so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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