I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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