Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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