you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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