had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
ok first of all what the fuck
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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