I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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