I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize