i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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