i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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