Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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