aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
tell me about the fingering
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