I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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