just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize