found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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