people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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