i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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